- You’re doing 90% of the things you said you’ll never do when you were 16.
- Helping your mum around the house doesn’t make you her slave. After all, every superhero needs a trusty sidekick.
- No one drinks alcohol because they like it.
- Coffee doesn’t keep you awake, the habit of drinking it does.
- “Growing up” and “taking responsibility” is not the same thing. You can do one without the other.
- There are days when chocolate is a perfectly acceptable meal.
- Your mother admits she doesn’t always know what’s best for you.
- You stop wasting your kisses.
- Word “cool” takes on a completely different meaning than it did in high school.
- Some people who haven’t touched a book in years start enjoying reading as much as they did when they were 8.
- You never tell your younger sibling they’re annoying when they talk about things that interest them. You’ve learned that’s one of the worst feelings in the world.
- You find yourself teaching your parents about life, not the other way around.
- College is not all that different from high school.
- There are still cliques and means girls and popular kids and those less popular.
- But you are different. You don’t want to just fit in anymore, you want to belong. You don’t want to stretch yourself to fit into someone else’s skin.
- Friends you find in college are most likely for life.
- You start fighting stereotypes.
- “I love you” loses its dramatic flair. It becomes something you need to hear as much as something you need to say.
- You learn that some clichés are real and good - that’s how they became clichés in the first place.
- Sometimes, 10pm is way too late to go out.
- Or to do anything but sleep.
- Your love life is still a soap opera, just with a volume turned down.
- People start taking you seriously, whereas a year ago you were still just a child to them. Sometimes you feel cheated out of life because of that.
- There are things you start looking forward to as much as when you were a child.
- Like Christmas.
- And Summer.
- And ice cream.
- World becomes a never ending hallway of possibilities.
- Some days you feel too small, or too big, for your own body.
- You don’t mind being yourself because you finally start discovering yourself. It’s new. It’s exciting. It’s like visiting a city you’ve seen in pictures, but they’ve never quite felt right.
- Society is messed up.
- People in magazines don’t even look human.
- Crowds don’t seem so crowded anymore, because there’s always someone you know, or someone you would like to meet.
- One month words on paper and scenes on television are so mesmerizing that you don’t leave the house.
- The other you start forgetting how your room looks like.
- Beauty is everywhere.
- Desire to travel rises in you like a hot air balloon.
- You don’t postpone studying anymore. You want to get it over with. You want to live.
- You use sarcasm more than in any other period of your life.
- You get tired of waiting for a cute girl/boy to like you back.
- You do something about it.
- There are worst things out there than rejection.
- Confidence boost.
- Everyone knows how to dance. Even those who don’t have a clue about it.
- Growing older doesn’t seem so scary anymore.
- At 26 you feel the same as you did at 22.
- You do things you’re going to be too ashamed to tell your children about.
- Tequila shots.
- Strip poker.
- Making out with a complete stranger.
- Eating a box of ice cream at 3am.
- Watching a whole season of a television show in one day.
- Having a Marvel marathon.
- Thinking that a box of pizza and six hours of playing a video game is a perfect date.
- Take a risk.
- Visit a theater every once in a while.
- Or a museum.
- Go vine tasting.
- Or poetry reading.
- Join a club. You never know what, or who, you’re going to find there.
- Go to a protest.
- Join a cause.
- You experience heartbreak on a completely other level.
- Happiness takes on a new form.
- Sometimes it’s everywhere.
- Other times it’s nowhere to be found.
- You don’t want this period of your life to ever end.
- You have a feeling it won’t.
"Delete her number.
Stop ringing her. Stop messaging her. Stop making excuses to see her, to drop by her place.
Erase her name from memory. Remove yourself from her life, more completely than you would like but as completely as she deserves. Move on, so that you can allow her to also move on. When you close your eyes, you don’t get to see her face. Not anymore. You don’t get to think about her lips, the warm glow of her skin when she rests next to you, or how she squeezes your hand in her sleep. You are not allowed to remember the smell of her perfume, that she only drinks mint tea (with two dollops of honey), or that she loves you.
She loves you.
She has been in love with you for too long.
So, forget how she says your name. Forget how she calls your name. Forget how she screams your name. Forget that time you got sick and she stayed up with you all night, letting you lay your head in her lap and holding a cold compress to your forehead. Forget how her hair feels in your fingers. Forget how she looks in your sweatshirts.
Know only that she existed at one point in your life, but relinquish all hope that she could exist at another point — sometime in the future that you are unwilling to specify because you don’t know what you want. Yet. It is not fair for you to swoop in and out of her life as you choose. It is not fair for you to say that you are satisfied with “things as they are” and you will have time to “figure it out” later. Let her stop investing emotionally in you. Let her pour that love and care into the people who deserve her.
Don’t tell her that you think about her all the time. Don’t tell her that it bothers you to hear about her with other people, but that you’re willing to understand as long as she likes you more than them. Don’t tell her that this isn’t the right moment but that there will be a right moment. There is not going to be a right moment. She shouldn’t have to wait for the right moment.
Don’t tell her that you can’t handle ultimatums, that you don’t like the idea of finally adding finality to your relationship — whatever still remains of it.
What you are telling her is that you want to keep her on as an option, that you are taking her for granted, that you want to know she will be there, that you can depend on her at the end of the day. When you find that no one else has stuck around or that those who have are less interesting, less thoughtful, or less doggedly loyal to you.
Doggedly loyal to you.
That is what she has been to you, for you almost as long as you have known her: a constant emotional crutch, the guarantee of stability, a safety net while you reachvout to grasp objects that sparkle and shine far greater than she does. All that glitters is not gold, haven’t you heard?
She is fire. You are ice, and you are afraid that her slow burn will smolder your cool, hard demeanor. That’s what has driven your decisions, your actions all along: fear. You are a coward. You are a hypocrite. You are terrified to let her go, but you are afraid she is too good for you, that she could drive you wild, that you would choke on her flames. That she is too much for you to handle right now.
But if you choose not to love her now, you can’t choose to love her later."
- Me: *during sex* ....i think i hear someone coming....
- girl: ....who?
- me: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *bust nut*
JUST A REMINDER THAT PLATONIC LOVE IS REALLY IMPORTANT AND I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE FRIENDS THAT YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH PLATONICALLY CAUSE THOSE FRIENDSHIPS ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND HONEST OK THANK YOU